i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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