Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i will never coherently bang her
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
