We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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