He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Randomize
