take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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