i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
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