i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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