I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
