I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
i think i just lost a toe
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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