sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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