I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
