Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
