I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
