I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
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