whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I didn't notice because vodka
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
