I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
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