Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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