just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
