My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
