We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
