Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
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