Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
