I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize