Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
