I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
