Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
