he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
Randomize
