either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
