he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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