I can tuck mytits in my pants
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
