True but thats because hes a fetus.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Randomize
