I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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