I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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