some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
