A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just saw a hot homeless man
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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