I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
