I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
Randomize
