Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
