Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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