nut hugger
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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