How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
