I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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