new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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