Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
