brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
