Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
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