You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
