Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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