So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
All I want is dick and wine.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize