Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
