Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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