I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Randomize
