I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Randomize
