i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
