I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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