Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
