you lied. pity sex is amazing.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
