I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
