Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
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