I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize