Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
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