Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
