Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
